Well, I have had a chance to over the latest cheap phone sex “special”. Late last year I announced Free Phone Sex days. Talked to the folks that bleed me dry at a rate of $600.00 an hour aka lawyers. Love them. Really I do. Here’s the deal Free Phone Sex days will begin next month and it will be for a day, not two although I reserve the right to have an extra or second day within any given month. Sounds lawyer-y, doesn’t it? This is the important part: only individuals who have purchased time with me BEFORE the Free Phone Sex day will “get the goods”. Did you hear that? Paying customers get the free phone sex.
Well, I guess that answers my question from a few weeks back. Remember this February will be Free Phone Sex Day right here at Cheap Phone Sex. Oh, man! It doesn’t get any cheaper than that.
Yesterday I went over my Cheap Phone Sex questions. To say the very least I was a bit disappointed. Several “questions” more along the lines of grunts. Here are some examples:
From B-
Dear Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl,
I want hot granny.
Now when I read this I get an image of a guy with his pants down, holding the family jewels looking at a picture of an old broad wanting to rub one out but can’t. Why you ask? He keeps asking, “Mother may I?” and there is no response. It’s like a dry drunk only wrong hole and different type of fluid.
B-, do I look like a granny? Just like it says at the top of the main page: …”I have certain immutable characteristics i.e., traits that I can not change: I am not Asian, Black, or Latin…I do not have a dick…I do not fuck dogs and I am neither a teenager nor an older babe.”
If you want some old pussy then call 1-800-966-1686. When you call that numbers remember there aren’t any connection fees and no minimums.
To summarize:
Hot, vibrant young 30-something Cheryl – call 1-888-669-6389 for cheap phone sex.
40-50-something (and older) moms – call 1-800-966-1686 for mature phone sex with no minimums or connection fees.
Here’s another “grunt”
From M-
Dear Cheap Phone Sex Queen,
Want phone sex with older white women or young black girls.
M- regarding older white women see above. Young black girls? 18 is the legal age in this country. So, M- if you would like to chat with some hot Nubian princesses – Black Phone Sex Teens then call 1-800-966-1646. It’s the same deal as with Mature Phone Sex – no minimums and no connection fees.
Are there any grunters who want to chat with me? The price is right – cheap.
From D-
Dear Cheap Phone Sex,
I was wondering if you were interested in a merchant account. I see you currently accept credit cards. I can offer you the lowest rates in the industry. Please contact me if you are not satisfied with your current processor.
D-, you must be new. Do you normally solicit clients through their customer feedback forms? Wouldn’t it be more professional to contact my corporate offices? I’ll give you a hint: Yes! Trolling for new phone sex clients in this manner is …well fill in the blank. You appear to be shady and until you receive some street cred that’s how a lot of other people will see you. Adult webmasters are pretty cynical and phone sex owners even more so. Before continuing to damage your name and the reputation of your company do some research and see how your competitors market their wares. I except your mea culpa. You didn’t know and hopefully, I will see you or one of your corporate representatives at the next big webmaster event or audio text convention.
Best of luck! And yes, I am very happy with all of my processors.
From B-
Hello, Cheryl, Mistress of Cheap Phone Sex,
Could I use PayPal?
Hang on. I have to swallow this chocolate-covered bug. Wait. I need a glass of water to wash that down. Does anyone know the expiration date for chocolate-covered grasshoppers? I think that was a bad bug.
B- at the top of the main page is a search form. Type in PayPal and read carefully. And by the way, IF you are using PayPal to purchase phone sex from (obviously) some other company do not be surprised when PayPal’s compliance department shuts down your account.
From S-
Dear Cheap Phone Sex,
Let me introduce myself, my name is S-. While visiting your website I saw an opportunity for us to do business together. I represent a credit card processing company. Currently, we are phone sex businesses. I can offer you some of the best processing rates in the industry. We are also the fastest payout in the offshore processing market. For the month of January, we are offering our new customers the gateway for no extra cost. This is for the duration of processing. Should our services be of assistance to you, feel free to contact me. Have a great day.
S- while it is true that you do offer fast payouts for an offshore company, please see my response to your colleague, D-.
From J-
Dear Cheryl, Cheap Phone Sex Goddess,
Cheryl, thanks for a great call! I’ve always enjoyed talking to you because I feel relaxed and we can wander off on other topics. All women should aspire to be such a good conversationalist as you are. Enjoy your New Year and I’ll talk to you again soon!
J-, you are so sweet.
On that positive note, I’ll get back to what I do best, providing inexpensive, affordable phone sex.
Cheap Phone Sex.
12 BUCKS for 15-minutes
1-888-669-6389 (toll-free)
Phone Sex Numbers by Woman: MILFs, Transsexuals, Asians, Teens, Blacks, Dominatrixes, and Latinas