Yesterday was Friendship Day. Did you know? I never heard of it. My friend, Susan, asked me to hang out with her and a bunch of other people. Since I am off on Sundays (New Cheap Phone Sex Hours), I headed over there after Mass. Susan thinks eating is overrated and never has anything in her house except leftover take-out. She orders beautifully but can not put Pop-Tarts in the toaster without burning them. Imagine my surprise when I arrived with an extra cake (because one can never have too much cake), two trays of buffalo wings with the appropriate sauces (because one can never have too many wings) and five slabs of ribs only to find that Susan had catered the “event”. Oh my! There were balloons and party plates AND food. Did I mention Susan is Chinese? Susan’s beautiful mother made everything from scratch. While I was nibbling on Mrs. C’s cooking, I learned that this was a party to celebrate friendship. Isn’t that nice? A whole day set aside to appreciate one’s friends. So, if you did not get a chance to celebrate with your friends do something nice for them and mark your calendar for next year.
One of the ladies at the friend fest, Jen, is an Iron Girl triathlete. I did not know there were women who participated in these events. This woman was sturdy and did not have any breasts. You know how I feel about women with small breasts. I talked to her anyway. As you know a triathlon includes three legs of a race hence the name. These women swim 800 meters, bike 18 miles and then run 3.1 miles. Just listening to her made me breathless (not the good kind) and after typing it …I need to take a break.
Quick Question: Are small-breasted women more athletic than women such as myself? Recall I am a 32-D. Yes, they are real.
My breasts tend to get in the way just doing regular stuff and I can not imagine being competitive with my huge knockers in the water or bouncing to and fro while I peddled away only to get off the bike and run 3.1 miles. I would have to change my sports bra mid-course because no bra could take it. Can you imagine me stripping down to change bras? I would do it too because when “my girls” are unhappy a little public indecency takes a backseat.
Something tells me after that visual you can not “take it” either.
Call me.