I am a pretty reasonable person. My site Cheap Phone Sex is decent, right? My phone sex rates are affordable. I am fun and sexy. My journal entries are entertaining and somewhat informative. I am just a regular American businesswoman. Well, yesterday, I snapped.
Yesterday started like any other day. It was the first day of summer and I had a ton of plans. I had summer goals and 3rd quarter goals, business ideas and personal stuff. Then it happened. I got an alert from Oprah.com. The tidbit sounded interesting. I almost clicked it. Almost. Then I remembered …
I am sooooo over Oprah. Oprah did an interview with John Edwards’ mistress and I refused to watch that episode or any other Oprah episode, movie, interview, National Enquirer article – nothing about Oprah, Stedman or her little friend Gayle. Done.
Then I started to get really ticked. So I forwarded my phones and spent the rest of the day calming down because it was at that point I realized I am over a lot of things.
I am so over British accents. I did not watch the entire hearing but that BP CEO has ruined it for everyone. Remember when British accents were sexy? Yeah, done.
I am so over the damn “spill”. All those people in the Gulf screwed not just today or next month or next year but for several generations. Remember the Exxon Valdez “spill” occurred 20 years ago in Prince William Sound, Alaska and the fishing has not come back. Is anyone paying attention?
I am so over Rush Limbaugh. Yesterday he suggested – and no that wasn’t sarcasm – that kids who are hungry should dumpster dive. Dumpster dive. Double done.
I am so over my fellow Republicans disrespecting the President and then later apologizing. Are you serious? If you think he is a liar or the shakedown king or whatever, say it, be done with it and take the consequences. But don’t be a pussy and apologize because you don’t want to lose election money or a leadership position. Whatever happened to having convictions and standing up for them? Anyone?
I am so over Sandra Bullock. If I had a tattoo, her husband would fuck me. Who am I kidding? Her husband will fuck anything that stands upright and has a warm hole. I am still waiting for that now-infamous sofa to be sold on eBay.
I am so over Tiger Woods. Seriously? 121 women. And you couldn’t fuck one black chick? Not one?!
I am so over taxes. Everyone talks about them, but no one has a clue. How are you going to lower my taxes when you don’t even know how much I make? You can’t lower my taxes and my neighbor’s because that would mean no one pays. Idiots.
I am so over 24-hour news. There should be a law that the cable news stations can not replay a segment. That should shut them up for at least 23 hours.
I am so over fake food. If I see another box of low-fat, no-fat, low-carb, no-carb whatever, I am going to kick someone’s ass. Food is supposed to be fatty, carby, proteiny and sweet. I want real sugar, butter and a big hunk of red meat in all my meals.
I am so over bottled water. Are we a third world nation? Is the water not safe to drink? Do we really have to fly in bottled water? Or is this some fashionable bs?
Speaking of which I am so over bullshit. And it’s all bullshit. Whatever happened to the simple things? Family and friends, food, laughter and conversation. I don’t care what year it is. We are the same sons of bitches that walked out of the ooze millions of years ago …just a little dumber. Which reminds me, I am so over Sarah Palin.
Updated. January 2, 2016: Add Google Analytics to the list. Why? Non-stop referral spam!
Updated. September 4, 2019: Scarlett Johansson. She believes Woody Allen y’all.