I’m feeling a little mischievous today. So I thought now would be a good time to answer a few questions that are ALWAYS asked and I absolutely hate to answer.
Cheap Phone Sex Dreaded Question #1
Dear Cheap Phone Sex:
How much is a phone sex call at Cheap-Phone-Sex.NET?
To all the horny guys and gals out there, the price of a phone sex call at Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl is 80 cents a minute. There is a 15-minute minimum. That means that is one hell of a cheap flat phone sex rate of 15-minutes for ONLY 12 BUCKS. It’s a simple multiplication problem. 80 cents times 15-minutes equals $12.00. Therefore if you wanted to do a 16-minute call the price of the call would be? Anyone? Answer $12.80. For those of you who have trouble with basic math or are too damn horny to multiply here’s a simple Cheap Phone Sex Pricing chart:
15-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $12.00
16-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $12.80
17-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $13.60
18-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $14.40
19-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $15.20
20-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $16.00
21-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $16.80
22-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $17.60
23-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $18.40
24-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $19.20
25-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $20.00
26-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $20.80
27-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $21.60
28-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $22.40
29-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $23.20
30-minutes of Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl = $24.00
Do I need to continue? I mean do you really need more than 30-minutes of phone sex? Yes? Well, for each additional minute add another 80 cents. And, before you ask, there is a special treat for guys that purchase The Cheryl Package (sm) but that’s for another day. You see I love talking about The Cheryl Package (sm) and not only because it bears my name.
Ok, someone is bound to ask so I might as well address it here. If you talk less than 15-minutes the price of the phone sex call is still $12.00. That’s why just about on every page of CHEAP-PHONE-SEX.NET it says “80 cents a minute with a 15-minute minimum”.
Answer: 15-minutes for ONLY 12 BUCKS. Each additional minute is 80 cents.
Cheap Phone Sex Dreaded Question #2
Dear Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl:
Do you accept Paypal?
Hold on. Is an ant a bug? Yes? No? Well for our purposes I hereby designate an ant a bug. Hang on I have some chocolate covered ants in the refrigerator. Look at tummy! Here it comes!
Whenever anyone asks me if I take PayPal I politely explain what is written:
PayPal No More
No Longer Taking PayPal, Pay Pal
Last Day for PayPal Transactions
Starting today if ANYONE asks me if I take PayPal I shall rudely hang up because believe me if I say one more time that PayPal no longer accepts phone sex transactions in addition to eating a bug I’m going to give the caller a thorough tongue lashing. Which he will probably enjoy – sick illiterate bastard.
Answer: NO!!! I do NOT take PayPal.
Second Answer: And, no I am not going to jeopardize my PayPal account and do a call with you. Although Paypal’s policy may change in the future. It never hurts to ask. So, ask. #FML.
Cheap Phone Sex Dreaded Question #3
Dear Cheap Phone Sex Fetish Mistress:
What is your [phone sex] specialty?
My specialty is taking the money out of your pocket and putting it into my bank account. And I’m willing to do just about anything to make that happen.
Answer: I do not have a specialty.
Second Answer: If you ask me again I will mindfuck you. Again, something you will more than likely enjoy.
Cheap Phone Sex Dreaded Question #4
Dear Cheryl Phone Sex:
What phone sex girls can I choose from?
First of all no ‘girls’ work here. My phone sex company ONLY hires women. And not 18-year-olds because let’s face it. If you are 18 and in this business, you must have had a hard life which involved a creepy familiarity with ‘daddy’s’ dick.
The name of the site is Cheap Phone Sex or Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl. Do you see ANY other names on THIS phone sex site? Soooooooo when you call this toll-free number, 1-888-669-6389, three guesses who you end up talking to. Give up?
I’ll let you think about that for a moment.
Answer: Cheryl, Cheryl, and Cheryl.
Cheap Phone Sex Dreaded Question #5
Dear Cheap, Affordable, Discount, Inexpensive, Low Price, Reasonable, Economical, Bargain Phone Sex:
Can I get a freebie aka free phone sex?
Forgive my French but you must be shitting me. Name one phone sex company – one – that offers free phone sex. When I say free I mean you call, ask to speak to a woman and she gives you head over the telephone for free. Then you call her back at some later date AND pay her. Because if anyone in this business is giving it away for free three things: she’s high, she’s crazy or she’s out of business. Either way, she’s probably going to stalk you because she’s high, crazy and broke.
Now, I am a bit crazy about my phone sex rates. I mean 80 cents, English is my native tongue and I am located in the United States of America. I dare you to find anything cheaper. Oh, I’m not talking about those phone sex companies that make you buy a ton of minutes to come close to my standard rates. And I am not referring to phonesex businesses that offer so-called cheap prices if you stand on one-foot howl at the sun AND every 45 minutes past every even hour – mountain time. So complicated.
Answer: Seriously?
Too much? Well if you have other questions try calling my Cheap Phone Sex information hotline at 1-888-XXX-XXXX or sending your question via the feedback form. Just remember when you call my direct line, 1-888-669-6389, be prepared for some general bitchiness if you ask a question that has already been addressed. Woe be it to the one who asks a question even vaguely similar to my five dreaded Cheap Phone Sex Questions.
Cheryl
Call 1-888-669-6389 for 15-minutes of cheap phone sex for ONLY 12 BUCKS